——It seems to follow as transparent and obvious, that a person’s uniqueness, guaranteeing them salvation, is the same thing that is their constant opportunity and prevailing burden. A person, the stronger they feel their own existence, will keep changing into the very oddest representation. A person is collected in the events that happen around them, then newly reconciled along the way, as if in conversation with the person they have been. One becomes defiant, transparent, only comfortable with the one they have been,  all along. Absolute uniqueness is achieved, and inwardly known, while by the same process made invisible to others. Unshakeable life resolves a person into a bland, stalwart appearance, as if one’s rioting inner self had been deadened along the way.  Comically, life seems to be an experiment in fitting in, precisely where one does not. Irony, at first dear, becomes cheap. There are various sets of rules, but only sloppily observed. A person, what is a person?  The idea is a good one, if there were actually appearances to be made, in which a person was fully required!
——Alas, it is so complicated being a person, that the idea occurs that this complication is the person. The mood of it at least, shifting.. One becomes supremely aware that only they see the exact situation. The source of emotion is in that exactness.  Are there words for it? Ah, too many–all the words have an edge, the vocabulary is shaking.
——Alas, one dully keeps measuring his or her self against an assumed or an overheard or constantly broadcast standard, which is never exact. Exactly not exact, you might say. A person is  shifting to accommodate to what seems age-appropriate, or defying the same–which amounts to the same thing, as anyway they can never escape the odd reality of their own own awareness. Who is it that follows you around? Are you a representative human? Hardly!  You might stride right into a semblance of an ongoing new person, greeting opportunity as it shakes out. Sure, and I might engage the shadow of my youthful person, always burning to prove a point or two. You could burst into a new decade with a vibrancy that surprises everyone. Everyone says that! I anticipate that someone will say to me, in the very moment when I have achieved a great inner peace, why did you compromise?  That is one of the hopeful threads . . .
——But behind each of us lurks the triumphant, original person–who has an ability to keep the familiar trail, the certain person in mind, whom they’ve kept company with in many episodes, and repeating scenes.  Sometimes I barricade the doors at night, sometimes I wander outside and greet my shadow self, who is all alone in the sparse moonlit street.

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